Question by ronswife: Calling all Alcoholics Anonymous members in NJ (morris co.) or surrounding…?
I am very shy and I have a hard time speaking in public (without alcohol).
Last time I tried AA meetings, I felt like an outcast. I found it to be very cliquey. It was hard for people to accept me. (or maybe it was hard for me to open up and accept my disease?)
I wasn’t able to find a sponsor or anyone to talk to, for that matter….
Needless to say, I started drinking again.
I need to go to meetings, but I am afraid that I will not be accepted, again.
My constant anxiety will keep me from speaking at meetings and getting the sponsorship that I need!
I know that alot of alcoholics and drug addicts suffer from anxiety and depression. I am hoping there is someone out there, right now, from NJ that can steer me in the right direction.
Please, don’t bother commenting if you are going to belittle me!!!!

Best answer:

Answer by Canan
Congratulations on having taken your first steps towards recovery. Once you get some sobriety under your belt, hopefully you’ll have the anxiety and depression subside considerably. Although, it is a real possibility that you had those in the first place and became addicted in a mistaken attempt to ‘self-medicate’ (alcohol is a powerful sedative). This is unfortunately very true especially for females…

A.A. meetings are non-professional, and so is its outset. I would highly recommend to get professional stabilizing first.

Talk to a health-care provider, hopefully they can refer you to other professional places or look things up in the blue-pages (beware of some private practitioners and/or most emergency departments: they’re usually in it for the money and are not interested in this unprofitable business …

Then once you’re stabilized, attend A.A.’s. Don’t feel obligated to having have to talk immediately at meetings. It’s ok to just sit and listen and learn and take what you can use in your recovery from the people who have something to offer!

Did you go through a rehab? Those usually help tremendously to get you into a schedule/routine, acquiring tools for your daily recovery Those places also have good resources for “closed meetings”. My suggestion would also be to finding a meeting that is ‘smaller’ or just for females.

Some of the very large meetings have a their ‘cliques’ and a lot of ‘strangers’ that come one day and not the next. That’s why the ‘old timers’ don’t dedicate too much time to make the newcomers feel welcomed. Go to a bunch of different meetings until you find a home-group that you like, in which you’re greeted by a few fellow suffers and who will make you feel welcomed. Also, finding a sponsor is not an easy task, give it a lot of time …

There are also on-line meetings. Get as much information as possible, get started on working on your steps (available from A.A. as well as on the internet). Good luck with everything!

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